How often has someone cut you off in traffic, or made a rude remark that you ruminated on for the rest of the day? I would go over and over the same ground, inwardly reciting my grievances, telling them off, or spinning down the rabbit holes of innumerable “what if” scenarios. I sleepwalked through the rest of my life to the accompaniment of a continuous background rumble of outrage, pain, and anger.Most of my energy and attention were sucked up in imaginary arguments with my ex-husband, his lawyer, and the judge.
The war thrives on our unconscious participation. (We also pick up imaginary burdens from a future that may never come.) Then say to yourself: “I choose not to have a war in my head.”It really can be as simple as that. Her books, This site is not intended to provide and does not constitute medical, legal, or other professional advice. You can wear yourself out, even boxing with shadows.I learned this the hard way, during and after my divorce. When you do, the next step is to take a metaphorical “step back” from it.Put yourself in the role of a war correspondent, who is there to simply observe, not participate. Several miles on, the other monk turns to the first and says, “How could you do that?
Eventually I realized what I was doing to myself and laid down my arms in sheer exhaustion. You stop the war by removing the fuel it runs on, which is your unconscious participation.Take some deep breaths, and let yourself be gently aware of any sensations in your body. It doesn’t matter how often you re-fight the battle (or fight it in advance)—you have ceded your peace of mind, and anything else that might be available to you in the present moment. On the surface, you are going about your day—at work, driving, shopping, watching TV.
There’s a classic Buddhist story about two monks who come upon a woman at the edge of a river.
Please seek professional care if you believe you may have a condition. We have made vows never to touch a woman!” The first looks serenely at him.
“Are you still carrying her? There will always be events and situations in life that bring up resistance, anger, worry, and upset, but we can choose to be like the first monk and simply set them down rather than carrying them endlessly along with us.Amaya Pryce is a life coach and writer living in the Pacific Northwest. The content on Tiny Buddha is designed to support, not replace, medical or psychiatric treatment. One of the monks carries her across and they continue on their way. None of it did me any good—the war in my head only added to my suffering. Before using the site, please read our How to Mindfully Calm Your Anger and Stop Doing Things You Regret5 Psychological Strategies to Ease the Stress of Perfectionism The battle from within' is gonna begin (War inside my head) And there ain't nowhere to hide (War inside my head) Can you hear it? You don’t have to do anything about them—just notice them and let them be. Once you become conscious of it, and make the choice to reclaim your mental real estate, the episodes of war will become both less frequent and less intense.If you are tired of the war that rages in your head, join me in declaring a “no-war zone” in your mind and be vigilant in keeping it that way.
(War inside my head) Can you sense it? I set her down at the edge of the river.”This is exactly what our minds do, if we aren’t careful: We carry our upsets with us long after the original cause is over. Our bodies are too vulnerable to collateral damage.In the beginning, it will probably take a full-scale battle to get your attention, but eventually you’ll learn to recognize even a minor skirmish. But in your mind you’re going over, maybe for the hundredth time, what your boss or neighbor or ex-spouse said last week. It’s what I call “the war in your head.”You know what it feels like. The quiet in my mind was almost eerie, like a battlefield after the ceasefire is called. Or what they might say or do next week.When the war is in your head, you are the loser, every time. How often have you spent anxious hours worrying about a possible outcome that never occurred?Our mental real estate is too precious to give over to war and strife.
None of it did me any good—the war in my head only added to my suffering.The truth is, the war in our heads harms no one but ourselves, and even a small-scale war can have major consequences. (War inside my head) Can you see it? You can’t stop the war through resistance—that will only fan the flames.
I spent hours, days, weeks, and months with a full-scale war raging in my head.
The war inside my head, war, inside my head The only thing real is the way I feel (War inside my head) And that's the pain that's deep inside. Becoming familiar with the negative effects of your mental war will help you to recognize it faster, and also give you the motivation to end it!If you’re a visual person, try imagining a breeze that blows through your mind, gently clearing away the thoughts… or perhaps waves crashing on a beach, leaving the sand smooth and empty.
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